This obviously isn't for grownups, unless you're a grownup who wants to embarrass you children (or thrill them, as the case may be).

For the record, I did not send my son a HD Greetings Valentine's Day e-card featuring Nick Jonas & The Administration's video "Who I Am." I did consider it, though, especially when I saw that you can personalize it with your own photos and messages.

I'm not suggesting that parents send out the videos. I humored my daughter's fascination with the Nick and his brothers to the point where she refuses to admit she likes them (victory!). That experience leads me to suspect that your kids do not want a Nick Jonas video from you.

But they might have fun putting one together for someone cooler than you.

I bought the AppleTreeBooks iReading — Three Little Pigs app a while ago because it was featured in the Apple Store as a "hot" educational application. It wasn't hot enough to interest my daughter, though, and neither of us looked at it until I was trying to clear up space on my iPod.

At first glance, the ebook seems innocent enough and the graphics are cute. Luckily I decided to give it a listen, which was the only reason why I ended up taking a look at the text. It only took a couple sentences for me to decide it was irredeemably awful. I didn't mind so much that the English is accented (the application has a Chinese option), but I did mind that all the inflections were off. Read this in a singsong voice: "Pig mother takes care of the three little pigs laboriously everyday. However, the little pigs can do nothing but playing [sic]."

I was ready to delete the application after the second page, but my 6-year-old wasn't bothered by bad grammar and odd translations. I handed her the iPod so she could listen to the rest of the story, only to grab it back a minute or two later to see if I'd misheard it. "What did it just say?" I asked my daughter, then shushed her before she repeated it.

Kids who make it to the final screen will discover: "The evil wolf falls down into the stove after he jumps from the chimney. His a-- is burned completely. It hurts so much the the evil wolf jumps up and rushes out, covering his a-- with his hands and howling."

Except that "a--" isn't censored in the story.

I just checked the Apple Store to see if the ebook is still available and it is, even though a scan of the comments confirmed that I'm not the only person who thinks the text is flawed. Of 107 ratings, 52 are bad (several  Unfortunately, stellar reviews come before the negative critiques. Of 107 ratings, 52 are bad but 33 give it five stars, like this reviewer:

"I really think it's a very good idea. Adorable graphics,great animations!And the story is very classisc.Although the accent sound werid.But i think the whole thing are good.especially the idea .Will you  make much more stories?I look forward to!!But why should I search for stepworks? yyy? I really think this app worth 4 rates.ENCOURAGED!!!I do think only praise let them make a more dynamic progress.STOP JEALOUS!!!!!I have got " little red riding woods",i think appletreebooks is doing a great efforts to make the books better !!!

— venessa studour006

When my kids get bored, they often start agitating for something new.

My 6-year-old daughter, in particular, thinks the cure for boredom is always available at a local toystore.

But every once in a while, I'm reminded that even a 13-year-old boy can be distracted with a creative task — as long as he's in the right mood, at any rate. A couple weeks ago, I discovered a magical formula when I realized I forgot to buy a greeting card and asked the kids to make one instead. My son grabbed some Popsicle sticks that were leftover from another project, my daughter supplied the glue and they happily glued stuff together for well over an hour. I ended up with not only a card, but a gift holder and some abstract sculpture, too.

I also had a very peaceful evening, which made me much more receptive to the tips in the "Great Ideas For Crafts With Kids" article on the Watthamai Crafts site mentioned on Twitter yesterday (RT  @HobbyHouse Great Ideas For Crafts For Kids: Crafts for kids are very popular with parents. It helps them educate their ... http://bit.ly/ds68XJ #Hobby). Usually, I prefer ideas I wouldn't have thought of myself, but looking at the list I wondered why I don't think of these things at times when I desperately need to distract the kids. There's nothing new on the list — it includes macaroni necklaces and paper chains — but seeing everything consolidated into one list reminded me of how simple things like a pack of pipe cleaners can keep kids entertained for a surprisingly long time. Since most of these ideas call for items that don't require a trip to the store, they're good to keep in mind for the next time the kids are looking for something to do.

I got an email from Posh Tots announcing that their fantasy beds were on sale.

I had to take a look to see what a Posh Tots sale looks like. This is the place that sells playhouses that range from $2,449 for a "Topsy-Turvy Playhouse" to $122,730 for the "Tumble Outpost." I was trying to figure out what beds they had on sale and noticed that they carry a $47,000 hybrid princess bed/playhouse. As far as I could tell, only the "Fish Tales" bed was actually on sale.

I'm not really the target market for children's fantasy beds, but I should point out that in addition to the really upscale stuff, the children's store does sell things at regular prices. The sale area might not have included a large selection of furniture but there were some decent sales that put some toys, clothes and dish sets under $30.

(Don't worry, there won't be any spoilers. After watching the first hour of the "Lost" season six premiere at Sunset on the Beach tonight, I was left puzzling over some of the new developments and had to laugh when I heard executive producer Carlton Cuse say they didn't show the whole episode because the second hour was more chaotic!?! If so, the series will be as mind-blowing at the end as it was from the very start. I love it!)

And now the blog entry:

I spent my Friday night with the kids watching Jeannette McCurdy (Sam) as a beauty pageant contestant on "iCarly."

I love watching "iCarly" with the kids. "Jonas," "Wizards of Waverly Place" and even "Sonny with a Chance" are fun to watch as a family, too.

But when I asked my son and daughter if they wanted to come with me to see the season six premiere of "Lost," they decided it would be better to hang out with their dad. I didn't mind. The kids' have always considered "Lost" their mom's weird obsession, so they just leave me alone when there's a new episode and refuse to get sucked in.

Their absence made it a bit easier for me to play paparazzi. I took 168 photos and, as I imported them to my computer, realized that this is probably the first time I've filled up a memory card without taking a single pic of one of my children.

Here are some of the my favorite red carpet shots:

How happy does this guy look posing with Evangeline Lilly?

Nestor Carbonell doesn't look like he's aged a day since his first appearance on the show.

I've never met Jorge Garcia, but I love his Dispatches from the Island blog at http://dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com.

Michael Emerson's shirt really challenged my camera, but I admire him so much that I kept trying. That's Daniel Dae Kim blocking the shirt. Too bad he didn't turn around. If you think this shot is blurry, it's nothing compared to all my shots of Kim, Yunjin Kim and Henry Ian Cusick. I'll have to check their photos out in tomorrow's Honolulu Advertiser.

I don't know why I like this photo of Evangeline Lilly...

Here's a shot from the front.

Rewatching the season five finale and the first hour of the preview, I'm so impressed by Terry O'Quinn's acting.

Not the clearest shot of Naveen Andrews, but it was the best I had because...

... by this point, I wasn't as worried about taking photos as I was about making sure I'd be able to see the screen, but as with Andrews, I felt compelled to try to get photos of Josh Holloway (right) and Matthew Fox (left). Who wouldn't?