An annoying hubby’s no match for a Shamu trainer
July 15th, 2008 by Treena ShapiroIf only I’d known.
Men don’t want to be treated like equals.
They want to be to jump like dolpins!
At least that’s what Amy Sutherland teaches in her book “What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love and Marriage.”
It’s true. I learned all about it on Fox News.
What if Sutherland said the secret to a good marriage is to stop nagging, ignore annoying behavior and reward positive behavior?
It probably wouldn’t be offensive, but it probably wouldn’t get her on TV.
Counseling wives to train their husbands like animals… now that’s an attention grabber.
It’s also “malicious marriage manipulation,” according to marriage counselor Victoria Baum, who was interviewed for the news report.
“The idea of positive reinforcement is wonderful, but to ignore the negative means that you’re holding in and you’re not getting your needs and your wants either communicated or met,” Baum said.
Sutherland, however, maintains this is a different way of communicating she noticed immediate results in her relationship.
Plus, she says anyone can use these training techniques to improve relationships with friends, family and coworkers.
“Even with myself I’ve used these ideas to sort of change behavior in myself that have been entrenched for a long time,” Sutherland said.
I’m no expert on relationships, but I’m not ready to buy into training people like animals.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:21 am
for years i’ve tried to employ the technique of “training” people (mostly the hubby) to do things my way. after awhile i realized that in some areas its easier to change myself then try and change someone else. with that said, i’m still working on it, but i totally agree that you need to reinforce postive behavior and address negative behavior. i’m also trying to work on, not liking what the other person has to say…because they have an opinion too. marriage is a partnership, not dictatorship…lol!
July 15th, 2008 at 11:31 am
It seems to be the laws of nature. Was Pavlov who discovered the idea? Animals, including humans, respond to positive reiforcement more than negative. I found it true when I used to be a manager.
July 15th, 2008 at 11:54 am
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July 19th, 2008 at 5:34 am
Treena-
As a person, wife, mother, friend and therapist, I’m with you.
The idea of being treated like or treating others like “animals” and feeling
I need to “train” them, is an unacceptable option.
Thanks for the mention!
Victoria