My 5-year-old was watching one of the straight-to-DVD “The Little Mermaid” movies the other night and asked why Ariel didn’t have a mom.

The answer was out of my mouth before I had time to think about it: “So she can be rescued by a prince.”

My daughter looked confused, which forced me to elaborate on a subject I hadn’t really given a lot of thought to. Nevertheless, I took the plunge and started explaining how Snow White, Cinderella, Belle and Jasmine all lost their mothers and three ended up marrying princes. The other, Jasmine, turned Aladdin into a prince.

“You’re doomed!” I crowed to my aspiring princess. “You have a mommy to rescue you! You don’t need a prince.”

My daughter picked up on my enthusiasm for moms over princes and threw herself into my arms for hugging, kissing and elaborate praising of all my mommy goodness. But while I was still beaming from her dramatically overdone fawning, my 12-year-old son snuck in for a surprise attack on my flawed thesis. (Seriously, I can never tell when that kid is paying attention!)

“Sleeping Beauty had a mom,” he piped up.

“She sent her away to be raised by fairy godmothers,” I countered. “To save her life,” I conceded. “But still.”

“What about that one who had to guess the guy’s name?” my son asked, not troubling to try to guess the guy’s name.

We had to think about that one. Did the girl in Rumplestiltskin have a mother? Maybe. As a mother herself, she promised away her first born child so she could spin straw into gold and marry a prince, but she did get the kid back. It was problematic but I brushed her aside because as far as I know, she didn’t make it into a Disney movie of her own.

Our conversation quickly devolved into a discussion of all the bad things that happen to Disney moms. Nemo’s mom was eaten. Dumbo’s mom was put in jail. Bambi’s mom, well, we’ve all been traumatized by what happened to her, so no need to go back there.

“Pinocchio didn’t even need a mom because he was made by a man,” I said.

“And came to life by magic,” my son agreed.

Disney’s animal movies have better maternal examples: “101 Dalmations,” “Lady and the Tramp,” and “The Aristocrats” all have loving moms. They also have wild dogs, alley cats and poor orphaned puppies, but they learn to appreciate domestication and family.

And then I remembered Fiona, who had a decent mom, if you overlook the fact that she let Fiona be locked in a tower and that “Shrek” is Dreamworks, not Disney.

It didn’t matter. I was too late. My son was bored and my daughter’s mind had leapt forward.

“I’m going to marry a real prince,” she informed me with a devilish grin.

“Sorry. You’re stuck with a mom instead.”

Apparently, she doesn’t consider that an obstacle. Unfortunately for me, it’s not because she realizes that life isn’t a Disney movie. It’s because she realizes life is finite.

“I’m going to marry a real prince,” she repeated with a cackle. “...After you die.”

This entry was posted on Friday, September 12th, 2008 at 5:57 am and is filed under Family Tree. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.